The Phoenix: July 2010

27 Questions that Cannot be Answered

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and "ï¿½wise guy"ï¿½ opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Any questions??

- it's an e-mail extraction courtesy goes to the person who sent me this mail

M P- a must read interview for all

Simply an extract from an interview recently posted in some web pages... a must read for all

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY

CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS

OFFICER: WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER: AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW

CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE....?

OFFICER : M P !!!

CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?

OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURE

Love marriage & Arranged marriage- The difference

A student asks a teacher, “what is love?
The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is; you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the field, went through first row, he saw one big wheat, but wonders.. may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one.. but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, “this is love… You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person..”

What is marriage then? The student asked.

The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn fielf and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reached the middle of the filed, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to teacher.

The teacher told him, “This time you bring back a corn… you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.. This is marriage.”

-It's from a mail which i received from one of my friend, courtesy goes to the person who wrote it-

In search of humanity.. I failed to be myself.

I don't know what to say.. still in the veranda of hospital. My first experience ever as a by stander. When it is for my father, I feel proud. Yes I really feel proud. But everything that I see around me took me somewhere else. I'm sorry I forgot to say that I'm in Medical Collage Hospital Calicut. I did recognize that I was in heaven for past days. I don't know about the future, and I don't want to know it. However I could feel the problems that a human life can't suffer. I was just amazed in front of them. 'Death' -the word which can simply kill a person. It's cry all around here. I don't fear death.. but I wish to have a late coming. I don't need to be hospitalized even in my old age, if it happens I may search for a short cut to death. In 'Love' sympathy may work out, not in real life.. I understood. As you feel now here is no such problems that can lead me to such a writing.. but here is something more than it. Little quarrel between husband and wife, parents and children, between neighbors everything get solved here. I realized when it comes to the end of a life, no one can be selfish. No one can avoid anybody. They stands for each other, they realize the value of each one's life, they becomes the real human with a 'kind heart', they speak the language of humanity, they use the hands of love. Sometimes I may think why should I waste my mobile battery for such a useless risk?? again I realize the value of a life.. (Yeh, I'm talking about the value of my life) I again feel that 'death' -something that can taste me anytime. At that very special moment this typed letters may be useful at least for my family to keep with my memories. It may be a touching lines at least for my family. (I simply want to let you know that I'm typing this in mobile from hospital bed).

I have a doubt..

We watch movies, serials etc. we cry often, even it is known that everything is fictitious. Why we do not cry for something which really happened? or for someone really need a helping hand?.. Where we have kept our common sense and humanity which we always be proud of?

In business, I often change my plans not because I'm dynamic but because I always recognize what is reality all about. Usually I travel frequently to long distances. I have seen many places, many people, many behavior, but nowhere I could find anybody who is caring others without any intention. As I turn around I could see two men who is taking care of someone else's mother as careful as their own mother. I feel they have got the their reward for their entire life within a short span of time. Not from anybody out there.. but from the 'Almighty'.

It's getting cold here, before getting into blanket I need to ensure that my purse have kept safely. (I see some doubtful persons too) Did i mention the time somewhere?? Oh, sorry.. it's 02.30 AM here. May be because of my first experience I do not feel sleepy.I made this hartal colorful at hospital. I see a boy laying near to my father staring at me.. May be he is thinking what am I doing with my mobile for a long time.. and Doctors, nurses, attenders, everybody look me and doubt the same what the boy might have thought of.

-I'm a beginner pls excuse the grammatical errors and warn me if any-

[It was typed using my mobile from hospital, when my father got admitted in MCH for chest discomfort. & I was his bystander there.. Right now he is fine]