In search of humanity.. I failed to be myself.

     I don't know what to say.. still in the veranda of hospital. My first experience ever as a by stander.  When it is for my father, I feel proud.  Yes I really feel proud.  But everything that I see around me took me somewhere else.  I'm sorry I forgot to say that I'm in Medical Collage Hospital Calicut. I did recognize that I was in heaven for past days. I don't know about the future, and I don't want to know it.  However I could feel the problems that a human life can't suffer. I was just amazed in front of them.  'Death' -the word which can simply kill a person.  It's cry all around here. I don't fear death.. but I wish to have a late coming. I don't need to be hospitalized even in my old age, if it happens I may search for a short cut to death.  In 'Love' sympathy may work out, not in real life.. I understood.  As you feel now here is no such problems that can lead me to such a writing.. but here is something more than it.  Little quarrel between husband and wife, parents and children, between neighbors everything get solved here.  I realized when it comes to the end of a life, no one can be selfish. No one can avoid anybody.  They stands for each other, they realize the value of each one's life, they becomes the real human with a 'kind heart',  they speak the language of humanity, they use the hands of love. Sometimes I may think why should I waste my mobile battery for such a useless risk?? again I realize the value of a life.. (Yeh, I'm talking about the value of my life) I again feel that 'death' -something that can taste me anytime.  At that very special moment this typed letters may be useful at least for my family to keep with my memories. It may be a touching lines at least for my family. (I simply want to let you know that I'm typing this in mobile from hospital bed).

I have a doubt.. 
We watch movies, serials etc.  we cry often, even it is known that everything is fictitious.  Why we do not cry for something which really happened? or for someone really need a helping hand?.. Where we have kept our common sense and humanity which we always be proud of?

In business, I often change my plans not because I'm dynamic but because I always recognize what is reality all about.  Usually I travel frequently to long distances. I have seen many places, many people, many behavior,   but nowhere I could find anybody who is caring others without any intention. As I turn around I could see two men who is taking care of someone else's mother as careful as their own mother.  I feel they have got the their reward for their entire life within a short span of time. Not from anybody out there.. but from the 'Almighty'. 

It's getting cold here, before getting into blanket I need to ensure that my purse have kept safely. (I see some doubtful persons too) Did i mention the time somewhere?? Oh, sorry.. it's 02.30 AM here. May be because of my first experience I do not feel sleepy.I made this hartal colorful at hospital.  I see a boy laying near to my father staring at me.. May be he is thinking what am I doing with my mobile for a long time.. and Doctors, nurses, attenders, everybody look me and doubt the same what the boy might have thought of. 
-I'm a beginner pls excuse the grammatical errors and warn me if any-
[It was typed using my mobile from hospital, when my father got admitted in MCH for chest discomfort. & I was his bystander there.. Right now he is fine]

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